𝓜𝓸𝓷𝓪 𝓛𝓲𝓼𝓪’𝓼
Behavioral Health & Wellness Coaching & Consulting
 
💕 HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
 
Building Connection • Trust • Respect • Understanding
Small Steps • Meaningful Change • A Healthier You
 
PAGE 1 — BUILDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
 
❤️ What Makes a Relationship Healthy?
 
Healthy relationships are built through everyday choices to:
Communicate with honesty and kindness
Listen to understand, not simply to respond
Show appreciation and affection
Respect differences and boundaries
Make time for connection
Support each other's goals and dreams
Take responsibility when mistakes happen
Repair after disagreements
 
A healthy relationship does not require perfection. It requires willingness to connect, communicate, and grow.
 
🌱 Our Relationship Check-In
 
One thing I appreciate about my partner is:
 
One thing I would like to understand better about my partner is:
 
Something that helps me feel loved and valued is:
 
Something I can do to help my partner feel valued is:
 
 
💚 BUILD YOUR FRIENDSHIP
 
A strong relationship begins with friendship.
Try asking questions that help you stay connected:
“What's been on your mind lately?”
“What are you looking forward to?”
“What's been difficult for you?”
“How can I support you?”
“What is something you've been proud of recently?”
 
This week, I will create connection by:
 
☐ Having a conversation without distractions
☐ Sharing a meal together
☐ Taking a walk
☐ Giving a genuine compliment
☐ Asking about my partner's day
☐ Doing something enjoyable together
☐ Putting away our phones for intentional time
☐ Other: ______________________________
 
PAGE 2 — COMMUNICATING WITH CARE
 
🗣️ START SOFTLY
 
When something is bothering you, how you begin the conversation matters.
Instead of:
“You never listen to me.”
Try:
“I've been feeling unheard, and I'd like to talk about it.”
Focus on the specific situation, your feelings, and what you need rather than attacking the person's character.
My concern:
I feel:
What I need or would appreciate:
 
A gentle way I can begin:
 
🚦 THE FOUR HORSEMEN
 
The Gottman Method identifies four communication patterns that can be especially harmful to relationships.
 
1. CRITICISM
Attacking your partner's character rather than addressing a specific behavior.
Practice instead: A gentle, specific complaint.
 
2. CONTEMPT
Communication that shows disrespect, ridicule, or superiority.
Practice instead: Appreciation and respect.
 
3. DEFENSIVENESS
Making excuses, counterattacking, or refusing to take responsibility.
Practice instead: Look for the part you can honestly own.
 
4. STONEWALLING
Shutting down or withdrawing during conflict.
Practice instead: Take a healthy break and agree to return to the conversation.
 
🧘 WHEN CONFLICT GETS INTENSE
 
It's okay to pause.
A healthy break is different from ignoring or punishing someone.
Try:
“I'm feeling overwhelmed. I want to continue this conversation, but I need some time to calm down. Let's talk again at __________.”
 
My calming strategy:
 
☐ Take a walk
☐ Breathe slowly
☐ Sit quietly
☐ Listen to music
☐ Journal
☐ Take some space
☐ Other: ______________________________
 
PAGE 3 — CONNECTION, REPAIR & ACTION
 
🌸 REPAIR MATTERS
 
Every relationship experiences difficult moments.
Healthy relationships are not conflict-free. They develop ways to repair, reconnect, and move forward.
A repair attempt might sound like:
“I'm sorry.”
“Can we start over?”
“I understand what you're saying.”
“I didn't handle that well.”
“We're on the same team.”
“Let's take a break and come back to this.”
A repair phrase I can practice:
 
🤝 UNDERSTANDING DIFFERENCES
 
Partners may have different opinions, needs, backgrounds, values, and dreams.
Instead of immediately trying to prove your point, try asking:
“Why is this important to you?”
What is important to me about this issue?
What might be important to my partner?
What can we understand about each other?
Is there a compromise or next step we can both live with?
 
💕 OUR RELATIONSHIP ACTION PLAN
 
One thing we're doing well:
One area we'd like to strengthen:
One thing I can personally do differently:
One thing we'd like to do together:
When will we do it?
How will we celebrate our progress?
 
✨ MY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP COMMITMENT
 
I will practice:
☐ Listening with curiosity
☐ Showing appreciation
☐ Speaking with kindness
☐ Respecting boundaries
☐ Making time for connection
☐ Taking responsibility
☐ Repairing after conflict
☐ Being open to learning
☐ Supporting healthy communication
My next small step:
 
🌿 A FINAL REMINDER
 
Choose connection over winning.
Choose curiosity over assumptions.
Choose appreciation over criticism.
Choose repair over resentment.
Healthy relationships are created through small moments of care, respect, honesty, and connection.
Small Steps • Meaningful Change • Healthier Relationships
 
𝓜𝓸𝓷𝓪 𝓛𝓲𝓼𝓪’𝓼
Behavioral Health & Wellness Coaching & Consulting
Your Wellness. Your Journey. Your Next Small Step.
This educational handout is informed by relationship concepts associated with the Gottman Method. It is not a substitute for couples therapy, mental health treatment, or professional relationship counseling. If a relationship involves fear, coercion, threats, violence, or abuse, communication exercises may not be appropriate. Consider seeking support from a qualified professional or appropriate safety resource.